entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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