a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
