I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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