I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am naked and annoyed.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
