omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
another moral hangover. fuck.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
