i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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