Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
