No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
