Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
