just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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