i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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