HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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