come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize