why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
