You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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