he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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