haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
