Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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