if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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