It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
