they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
