Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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