Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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