shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
