beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Never joke about your clitoris.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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