yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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