I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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