I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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