Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
