is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
