I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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