i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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