I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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