There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
