people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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