I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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