Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
