i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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