Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
