I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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