I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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