I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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