Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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