At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize