We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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