When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
