if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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