some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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