Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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