hotel room ftw
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
