She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
