you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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