Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
