The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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