Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
How external is "for external use only"?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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