You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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