we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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