Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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