I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
